Austin Kennedy vs Josh Burns

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Cowher. Kennedy. Tough, hard nosed, big chin. Tough, hard nosed, big calves. McVay. Burns. Progressive, confident, trendy. Progressive, confident, even trendier. These players provide us with the most important matchup as they serve as their team’s captain. It’s no secret, whoever can put their guys in the right position will win Turkey Bowl IV.   

This is an especially important Turkey Bowl. After winning TB1, Kennedy has fallen in the last two in controversial and tight fashion while a third win in a row for Burns would cement his legacy in Turkey Bowl lore.

 On the field, Kennedy provides the Raiders with a steady presence at QB that will take command of the huddle and make good decisions while Burns will make more plays with his feet and likely look to take a few more chances. Defensively, it remains to be seen what Kennedy will play, if at all, but he will be the eye in the sky and align his players properly to try and take away what the Chiefs want to do. Burns provides the Chiefs with versatility as he can play as a cover corner or take away the middle of the field as a linebacker. 

These two will be playing chess against each other all game long in what is shaping up to be a Turkey Bowl for the ages. They have differing styles, both as players and as captains, making this one of the spiciest matchups south of the Thames. Rumour has it that the losing player of this matchup will hang up his cleats for good. But that’s just speculation. 

What wins, an unstoppable force or an immovable object? We just might find out the answer come Saturday. These players are the motor that fuels the Cheifs and Raiders. Without them, this game would be a pillow fight in a bouncy castle amongst 7 year olds. These two have the ability to not only spark themselves but also make every person on the other team want to fight them, making the Turkey Bowl can’t miss TV.

On the field, Whitfield provides the Raiders with a relentless pass rush that is not only physically difficult to handle, but also puts a mental strain on whoever has to line up across from him on the offensive line. Offensively, he gives the Chiefs a valuable possession receiver that has proven difficult to bring down. Cunningham, on the other hand, is a jack of all trades for the Chiefs. He has played every position on the field and proves to be effective wherever he is. He will likely be needed in the trenches on both sides of the ball, as he will match Whitfield’s intensity and physicality. However, Cuttz may find himself throwing fastballs “right in between the 2 and the 7” if the situation calls for it.  

Spectators will be shocked to watch these two duke it out play after play and then relax and be the first to hand each other a tall cool Budweiser post game. These two are throwback athletes that can rev it up during the game, yet come right back down to earth postgame. It is truly wonderful to watch.  We have no interesting facts for these two, all business, they just want WAR.

Chiseled Jaw, rock-hard biceps, and just enough grey to let you know they’ve been around the block a few times. These two need no introduction. Both have ascended to the pinnacle of refereeing in their respective countries, with Ed officiating 2 two super bowls, and Jim (soon to be) 2 Turkey Bowls. While Ed chose the life of a cushy, comfortable lawyer, Jim chose the gridiron; spending countless Canadian Novembers outside, in shorts, in the Amherstburg wilderness, coaching too many football teams to count. Ed officiates NFL players; Jim trains them. Ed might be the best in the business at ensuring fairness NFL games, but Jim is the best in the business at picking fair teams in gym class. We may never see Ed don the stripes again, Jim however, will be a fixture of Turkey Bowls for many years to come. This year, Jim looks to extend his Turkey Bowl wrestling undefeated streak, don’t miss out on the most highly anticipated post-game event.

• Jim was the real-life inspiration for Dos Equis' Most Interesting Man Alive ads
• Jim is undefeated in Turkey Bowl wrestling matches

• Ed once lost a staring contest to Jim in a Lions game back when Jim was a ball boy
• Ed has never even attempted to take part in a Turkey Bowl wrestling match

 They say old dogs can’t learn new tricks but these two beg to differ. As the elder statesmen of their respective clubs, these two will be looked up to for guidance and wisdom as the game unravels.   If last year was any indication, these two will cross paths often in TB4. They had a few memorable run ins last year. First, with Riggi colliding with Brescacin as the latter ran a post pattern. Later in the game they intertwined on a potential game sealing interception when Brescacin bobbled the ball helplessly until Riggi came in to break it up.   Speculation from the Raiders camp is that they will send Grease after Jets and dupe him into another night in the town to slow him down as Riggi has done several times in the past. Chiefs are keeping a watchful eye on Brescacin as the game fast approaches. This is a matchup for the ages 

• Mark ran the equivalent of 2 marathons every Lancer football game, largely due to the fact that he only ran go routes in a spread offence

• Jordan's favourite fashion accessory is a puka shell necklace

Would you rather be thunder or lightning? Brawn or beauty? An old Italian tractor that doesn’t stop or a speedy sports car that needs some attention? The answer to those questions will determine who’d you rather have in this matchup. Lou comes into TB4 as one of the biggest players and is a huge plus along the lines but still has the ability to play in the secondary. Evan is straight speed, all day. But make no mistake he has no problem sticking his nose in the mix when it comes down to it. They will affect the game in much different ways, but both will have a huge impact. Whoever makes more plays, will likely catapult their team to a ring.  

• Lou once ingested so much pre-workout that he then coughed and "burped dust".

• Evan has played a combined total of 16 seasons of competitive tackle football.  Each season comprised of an average of 8 games, along with 1 playoff game.  Evan also participated in 2 East West Bowl games.  The estimated sum total of games Evan played in over his 16 season career was therefore 144 +2 = 146.  Through 146 total games Evan did not break 1 single tackle.  This is the longest streak of football games without breaking a tackle ever recorded.

What can we say about this matchup that hasn’t already been said about the Cold War? It’s unpredictable and highly volatile. Both these guys have similar roles for their squads. They man a corner spot on defence and have sneaky skills when called upon on the offensive side. However, they can both be unpredictable at times. Pawel has been known to ride the wave and hang loose. Jake has been known as a bit of a loose cannon dating back to his TKO days. Make no mistake, when it comes down to it, when you need them, both are absolute ballers. The team that can corral these guys for a longer period may just be hoisting the trophy come next Saturday. 

• Pawel is the only TB player to have won a Yates cup.  Disappointingly, much like the rest of Turkey Bowl's roster, he was never able to defeat the Western Mustangs during his University career.

• During Jake's final year with the AKO Fratmen, he was involved in 6 post and mid-game brawls, 4 of which took place in the stands with fans.  Many believe this approach to fan engagement has hampered his professional golf career.

Age old rivals meet again. That would be the headline in the paper if Bob Duff ran an article on these two. They used to duel it out at Essex and Amherst playing with similar styles, now they will be counted on in similar ways in TB4. Despite their lack of size, both Arthur and Mitchell play with tremendous balance and speed and have proven to play bigger than advertised. They have also developed tremendous versatility over the years. AJ can play receiver and defensive back competently and Dender can tote the rock or split out and catch intermediate passes effectively.  It should be noted that Arthur is a newcomer to the game so we will see how he holds up to the stress. Rumour has it the winner of this matchup will receive a lifetime supply of Rivalus supplements, so this should prove to be a tasty matchup.  

• AJ's stride lengths are so short, he uses the friction they create to power his entire home.
• AJ shares the home described above with two room mates, who also happen to be his parents, and primary caregivers.

• The fish Mitch is holding in the picture above is actually only about 6 inches in length.  Years of Rivalus have taken their toll on Mitch, as he now stands just 4'3" and weighs only 72.6 lbs.

This matchup will likely take place in the trenches and will be as gritty as it gets when this farmer meets this Westsider.   Brad is shaping up to be the anchor of the Raiders offensive line while Nick appears to be the Chiefs most important pass rusher. These two will likely butt heads more than a few times. Brad is simply as steady as they come, he is a tremendous snapper and when called upon will make possession catches with hands that suck in the ball like a Hoover vacuum. Nicky B will give the Raiders all they can handle as a relentless pass rusher with rare movement skills for a specimen of his size. Nick also provides the Chiefs with a body that can provide matchup nightmares in the red zone. Whoever wins the war in the trenches may just catapult their team to victory.  

• Brad's choice of beverage is the notorious 'Triple Play', which includes Blue Light, a Dip, and a Cigarette, all consumed simultaneously

• Nick served as the Mayor of Windsor's West Side from 2005 - 2010

 Although they have two vastly different body types, both players will be relied on come TBIV. Jeff brings an element that the Raiders do not have, a tall athletic weapon that can stretch the field and present matchup problems in the redzone. Bryan simply embodies what the Chiefs want to be, a tough hard-nosed group of grinders. Bryan has several hats that he is capable of wearing, he can rush the passer or drop into coverage on defence and use his savvy to both pass block and split out to catch rocks on the offensive side. Whichever team can squeeze the most out of these two will likely be hoisting the cup come November 24th. 

• Jeff's laugh is used in many of today's most popular TV laugh tracks

• Bryan once had a sparring match in an apartment building yoga studio

 Looking at the first matchup of Turkey Bowl IV, we are intrigued by the similar skill sets and roles that these two guys play on their respective teams. Both are used as somewhat of utility men, with Gentili spotting at corner and receiver, and Zach spelling guys at d-line and receiver. However, what cannot be measured about these two men is their effort and willingness to accept their role. Full House Gentili and Wally play instrumental roles in building their team’s culture. Gentili with his elaborate celebrations and genuine optimism and Wally with his off field behaviour, which may concern some teams, but tends to rally the Chiefs. The spirited play come November 24th by the Chiefs and Raiders will no doubt be a reflection of how these two young men can inspire those around them. 

• After numerous World Poker Tour wins, Mike currently owes the CRA over $2.3 million in backed taxes

• Zach is the first person in recorded human history to be his boss' landlord