BETTING ODDS

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The final weather report is in, bundle up, its going to be cold and wet, just the way the chiefs like it, especially on their home turf.  While snow isn't in the forecast, expect ice to run through Chiefs QB Burns' veins.  A light sprinkle may also take a turn for the worst, as Raiders QB Kennedy is expected to make it rain throughout the afternoon.  Our doppler radar system predicts no storm fronts, but Whitfield and Cunningham always bring the thunder and lightning.

GAMETIME FORECAST (12-2):

• Temperature: 7C (feels like 3)
• Chance of Rain: 60% | < 1mm
• Humidity: 71%
• Winds from the South at 17 km/h

It seems a pair of Willistead Raiders have been enjoying their offseason. Pictures have surfaced via TMZ depicting two Raider teammates, AJ Langlois and Brad Adams, enjoying questionable ‘beverages’ amid friends. In one picture, Adams can be seen guzzling ketchup directly from a bottle, as though it was his usual Blue Light. A second picture depicts Langlois consuming what could only be Maple Syrup, again directly from the bottle. It seems these two have no manners. Even worse, a third picture depicts a young female, who appears to have been pressured into consuming her own batch of ketchup, with Adams looking on from the background, barely able to keep his eyes open.  The savagery of the Raiders seems to truly know no bounds.

With less than two weeks remaining before both athletes are required to report for TBIV Camp, many experts are calling their offseason conditioning into question. While Adams has been known to enjoy a beer (or 7) after a long day of showing up late to work at his Father-in-Law's pallet shop, Ketchup straight from the bottle is undoubtedly a new low. We must admit the pictures are less surprising for the young Langlois, although we are shocked he’d even consider consuming such a viscous liquid, especially considering his long history with food-passing organ discomfort.

It should be noted that some experts are suspicious of the timeline surrounding the pictures, even believing they may have been doctored, or dug up from historical archives. Adams’ pictured hair-cut, jawline, and lack of dip point to this being a real possibility. Furthermore, forensic investigators analyzed the hand-size pictured relative to the size of a standard Aunt Jemima maple syrup bottle, and concluded that the man pictured could not have been AJ Langlois, as his hands would never be able to grip such a wide bottle. One expert indicated “it would be far more likely for AJ to have been gripping a Tobasco Sauce bottle, the physics of the syrup bottle just don’t add up”.

While the jury is still out on the validity of TMZ’s picture, one thing is for sure, Turkey Bowl organizers will have to ensure Ketchup and Syrup bottles are kept under lock and key for the big event.